Pacing, chasing after my own mind that’s racing trying to erase this shit that seems to dominate this mental state. Is fate fate or is fate what you make it and take it too? What can anyone do when you feel locked into a situation that’s part of the frustration? Looking within to try to find a means to begin again, looking at the clock to see it’s ticked and tocked far farther then I thought cause I’m caught pacing.. making marks in the floor and marks on my face from scratching at my jaw. Its time to make a new stance and face this shit head on and take it on, no more plotting planning, no more mental scanning, it is time to let the pressure form and let the diamond come from the coal and soul. Rules of the game, rules we should try and explain because not everyone is playing the same, often they’re lost off in their own lil thing they can’t even explain. Is it the same, if blue is blue what do you see it as within you? If I told you blue was blue but it appeared red to you, who could show you the difference, would you keep calling it what we’ve taught you to call it? How could you do anything different? Isn’t this the utter truth? Is this little bit of a riddle enough to make us realize there may be more different that appears similar then our means of co-being and co-existence? Just think about this. What were we when we first came to be? How much are we a product of what this around us has taught us to be? Can you believe in yourself and really see? Can you be one and not part of the system that seems to be completely fucked up around us? So many questions but the idea is the pressure of it onto your mentality it is like screaming to realize that inner fear that otherwise is never there. What is what? What is this which we call real, from what is really real? Expression is in the soul, expression is something which we can see that is not there previously physically, expression is the method of all art, art from the start is the start of a high level of soul state.. one means for to lift another that wasn’t present previously, the more true the more it speaks to you. If art is expression, what if art could be the lesson? Wouldn’t it teach us something on a level not possible previously possibly? Is this very question making your brain shake and question what the hell point it should take? Let me illustrate.. Illuminate.. taking this frustration and making it positive as a product back out to my environment with this hip-hop and record the moment. Isn’t this what makes the rock roll? Isn’t this the grassroots we lost from back when the hippy movement questioned some of this political nonsense taking lives within it? Is this all we have left to try and reclaim anything real even if it is only for the moment we put it all down like this? Can we feel what we should feel and heal? What’s the dollar or the deal? Is it all really really real? For real… -X-